I have no idea
by LucyHx
Summary: "D-do.. I have any sex appeal? Medea blinked, blinked again and just blinked, she couldn't form any proper words for that sentence or response. "Could you repeat that?" A start of a pick-up line war, who will win? R&R? :3


**Authors note: **So, this is what happens when I begin thinking about, what if Medea and Charlemagne got into a pick-up line war? And, so this was, little fiction was born. xD Uhm, enjoy this weirdness, I have no idea.. why I even continued writing this.

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_**:~ I have no idea :~**_

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Medea sighed, sighed again and sighed for the fourth time that day. The day wasn't as glorious as it should be. It lacked that exciting flare that Medea loved, like a child that adored ice cream. She adored her exciting days, filled with divine battles and heavenly fights but today seemed far from that, it was more like a drizzling day of rain, so gloomy and boring. She needed that fight in her life, to push her forward, it gave her something to look forward but she wasn't looking forward to experiencing such an agonizing day of nothing! How she can be expected to live such a life?! It was absurd.

Medea was situated on a wooden chair, her back resting against the chair and her feet were relaxing against the table, sighing yet again. Her team had disappeared for the day, lucky fools, she would have taken them out training but they quickly rejected that with a poor excuse. How dare they make up such a trivial excuse! The whiny dogs! It was even more absurd then this day! Had they no shame?! We needed supplies?! What kind of excuse was that?!

She huffed, exhaling a bit of air from her lips and wheezing gasps of air, amusing her for a few seconds before she fell back to the clutches of boredom. Of course she could have accompanied them but such duties hardly fitted a queen now did it? So, that meant she was stuck here, watching the pesky sun stretch it's hopeful light across the abandoned town, graciously lending it's light to the darkened places that probably hadn't been touched in days by the sun.

Medea watched the desert sand with a keen interest, watching the tiny grains of golden being swept away by the harsh winds that threatened to overcome that hope, barging in like an unwanted guest and pushing the sand away with nothing more than a few gusts of air. That's how bored Medea was, watching sand, her life had stooped down to a new level she wasn't aware she could sink to, a first time for everything Chase would say, annoying kid.

Medea was snapped out from her thoughts, upon hearing her phone buzz, oh a new mission! Just what she needed, after those buffoons get back, we could finally find a worthy opponent, someone worthy of Medea! She'll go out in a glorious battle that'll be told for centuries-

The phone buzzed louder, interrupting her a second time, she scowled and picked up the phone, clicking it. "Hello? The one and only Medea! The Queen! The glorious battler that would put an end to you, who am I speaking to?" She asked, twirling her right finger around a piece of her hair.

"Medea?" Medea blinked, that accent was familiar, that twang, that pronunciation, could be only one person. "Ah, the lady in yellow, to what do I owe the pleasure lady Charlemagne?" Medea asked with a sickeningly sweet voice, feeling her interest perk up.

"I have a serious matter that needs discussing, do not interrupt Medea." Medea sighed, as an indication for her to continue. "It's a very personal but pressing issue, one that does not leave this conversation?! Do you understand me Medea?" Medea grinned, this was positively delightful. "Of course my dear lady, none of this leaves this conversation, so what is this personal issue?" Oh, she was quivering in her boots! She couldn't wait to hear this.

"I am warning you Medea, this does not leave this conversation or I will hunt you down, I have the means to do it and you know it." Medea rolled her eyes, such over confidence, Medea would have gladly slammed down the phone, laughed and carry on with her day but she didn't much of a day to get to.

"D-do.. I have any sex appeal?"

.

.

.

.

Medea blinked, blinked again and just blinked, she couldn't form any proper words for that sentence or response. "Could you repeat that?"

"I am not repeating it again and now answer thee question!" Medea raised an eyebrow and that was surely embarrassment spoken within the captain's tone, how intriguing. "Well, darling, that depends on what man you want to impress." Medea said, twirling her finger again around her hair. "Some men like it rough, hard and just want to get down with the dirty.." Medea laughed, upon hearing the speechless commander, she heard a few gasps of air catch within the commanders throat, effectively silencing her for a few seconds. "T-that isn't the issue here! You're avoiding my question!"

"Some men like it gentle, tender and with affection, some men like a mix, is there a reason why you're asking commander?" Medea asked, trying not to snicker into the phone. "T-there is no reason you nosey dog! I asked you a question and I expect an answer!" Medea merely nodded.

"You have none, to put it simply." Medea knew she was being blunt but the commander did ask for an answer.

"W-what do you mean I have none?!" Oh, poor darling, she knew absolutely nothing about men, even when she had been ruling countless of them, she wasn't ruling in the bedroom, that was for sure Medea thought inwardly. "Listen well my dear commander, you have none, zilch, nada, the big zip! Quite frankly, even a piece of wood has more appeal than you do." Medea face-palmed herself, that stupid little geek had infected her with that stupid phrase!

"Do elaborate, you don't have much of a point but I'm interested in hearing your stupid little ideas." That probably translates to, why don't I have any? Medea over time slowly got used to the demanding woman in yellow, Medea could probably produce a few very good book on how to train Charlemagne.

"You have that whole serious dominatrix thing going on, that doesn't appeal to many men and you look like an old lady that got gangbanged by Crayola." Medea expressed with an honest tone, leisurely relaxing in her chair. "Take it from me darling, you have no sex appeal." Medea added on, laughing.

"Coming from the tranny stalker that stalks little kids for a living!" Oh, no she didn't, oh hell no! Medea gripped the phone in anger. "Puh pleaseee! At least my men don't get beaten at every turn, whipped by a bunch of teenagers! Grown, trained men! With guns!" Medea snapped.

"At least I don't eye-rape little kids that's old enough to be my son!"

"I am not that old you flat-chested ugly fool!" Medea narrowed her eyes. "Don't go snapping at me because the only attention you get is from that old creepy lapdog that would probably jumped off a cliff if you told him to!" Medea smirked, upon hearing something clang, probably the commander having a fit of rage.

"I am not so far up my own ass that the only thing I do is talk crap! Sound familiar Medea?" Oh this was getting no-where. "Well, my dear little flat-chested commander, how 'bout we make a bet hmm? We go out into the city, go out into a bar and try to pick up men. The person with the most numbers has more sex appeal than the other! Really, there is no competition, considering how you look." Medea sneered.

"But I am willing to prove it, just for your small narrowed mind." Medea was grinning with positive delight, a chance to humiliate the commander!

"If I win, you'll be my servant for the next week, cleaning S.T.O.R.M base of operations for a month!" Power, Power, Power, is that the only that woman ever cared about? "But if I win, you'll call me your darling queen for a month, while training under me!" Medea exclaimed with laughter.

"Medea, prepare to lose, I am quite the convincing woman." Medea rolled her eyes, threatening and convincing were too different things.

"We'll see my little darling commander, we'll see." She mused with another laugh.

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Uhm, hope you enjoyed, every view, review and favourite is appreciated.

_Love_

_**~LH**_


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